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intrusive thoughts

I’m very happy to report that I have had some sleep this week. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always feel like it. It’s really hard for me to fall asleep when I want or need to do just that. I’ve had this problem for as long as I can recall. Last night I said something at dinner about being very tired and needing to go to bed as soon as I had my work done. My daughter asked, “Can you turn off your brain so you can fall asleep?” “No,” I said. “But I’m going to try to not interact and just watch and listen to the videos, music and conversations that will continue in my head until I pass out.” The constant flow of such mental media comes unfiltered from only God knows where — surely an amalgamation of things I picked up on throughout the day without realizing it, things I’ve read, videos I’ve watched, conversations I’ve overheard or participated in, random memories and whatever extraterrestrial implant I may have between the folds in my gray matter — and continues absolutely non-stop. When I’m...
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Don't quit

"Let's see who can do a hundred push-ups," David said.  "I don't know if I can do a hundred," I said.  "Well let's see," he said.  He set the rules. We would get where we couldn't see each other so we wouldn't be tempted to offer critiques.  We were in the church sanctuary. We were either about to get the gym key from Dad and play basketball or we'd already played. I don't remember which. But here we were about to compete in upper body strength and endurance in the church. I went to the rear of the sanctuary, behind the back pew. He was between the front pew and the podium. I dropped to the carpet and started straining my arms to push my body up and let it back down as many times as I could.  David was in much better shape than me, or at least appeared to be. I knew he was going to beat me, but I wasn't going to go down without a fight.  One, two, three ... am I at 100 yet? Four, five, I am not going to make it. Six, seven ....
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