Well-Meaning Remarks

So many people want to be a help to those who are going through a period of separation and/or divorce. They offer well-meaning comments and prayers, but some of those well-meaning comments don't come across quite the way I think the people mean them.
I've heard people at funerals tell the grieving parent that it was "God's will" for their child to die. This is not what should be said to someone grieving, during the funeral, or at visitation! No comfort is offered by hearing that God wanted your child to die.
Mis-placed words during the death of a relationship are no less hurtful.

"I never liked him/her, anyway."
"You'll be fine. You'll get over this."
"You'll find someone else in no time."
"God hates divorce."
"If you had worked harder on your marriage, maybe you could have avoided all this."

You know, I didn't marry her because you liked or didn't like her.
I know I'll be "fine" one day, but I don't think I'll "get over" divorcing like you would "get over" puppy love. 
What if I don't want to find someone else? What if that's not my goal - especially right now?
Telling me God hates divorce is about as helpful as:
* You saying your child is struggling with same-sex attraction, and me saying, "God hates homosexuality."
* You saying you are struggling with trusting God completely in every area of your life, and me saying, "God hates you being wishy-washy. Be hot or be cold, or He'll spit you out!"
It's just not helpful. Thanks.
How do you know how hard I worked on my marriage? Maybe I did everything right. How're your relationships going?

And people send links to articles and videos and make book suggestions, etc., most of which are aimed at saving your marriage before it's over. Some say outright that if your marriage is failing or has failed, it's all your fault. 
Gee, that's very encouraging.

God has worked on me so much, and is quite capable of convicting me on His own, through the power of His Holy Spirit. When He corrects me, it's usually painful, but it is also clothed in full grace and love.
Pray for me, and for any other person going through separation and divorce.
That's the absolute best thing you can ever do for anyone, anyway! 
THANK YOU, honestly, sincerely, for your kind words and kind intentions behind anything you may have said or done!! I love you for that! 
But I have to be honest, some things are more hurtful than helpful.