Anonymous Letters

As a youth minister in a church where we were searching for candidates for the role of deacon, I was surprised one Saturday to receive an anonymous letter in the mail describing in five typewritten pages why a particular candidate should no longer be considered. 

The hateful comments, wrapped in religiosity, boiled down to the fact that John* had been divorced and remarried. 

Current deacons and staff met with the pastor the following day, each bearing a copy of the letter.

With very little hesitation, we decided to ignore the letter, since the individual had not signed it, nor did they seem to have the best interest of John in mind. With no names mentioned, we all also had no doubt which church member had sent the letter. 

Lisa* was well known for her harsh attitudes and unforgiving outlook toward virtually every person outside of her own children. He husband Robert* would either laugh and say Lisa didn't mean what she said "that way", or just shrug his shoulders, shake his head, and offer apologies.

The pastor addressed the biblical qualifications of deacons, including being "husband of one wife", and the fact that divorce can take place prior to salvation, and not be the fault of both parties. John, who had also received a copy of the letter, had divorced his wife when she left for another man, and years prior to his conversion. But John withdrew from consideration, and left the church.

A few years ago, I revisited that church, and Lisa and Robert were there. Robert smiled and nodded. Lisa drew her lips back, nearly in a snarl, and, "So, I see YOU'RE still around." I smiled and said, "Yes, ma'am, I see you are, too." She spat out, "Ha!" and stomped out the front door of the church. 

A few pastors have had serious difficulties there and have left under duress. Lisa has been directly involved in a couple of those, for certain. Maybe all, I don't know.

Years later, as a pastor, I began receiving my own anonymous letters. Actually, they were never sent to me. They were usually sent when I had been out of town for a few days, and they all came from the same typewriter. You could tell from the similar markings and miskeyings on the pages. And all were very similarly worded.

Bro. Brett isn't doing ...
Have you actually seen him visit this person?
How do we know he visited Mrs. X before her death?
We need a pastor who ...

In each instance, everyone in the room (deacons, staff, and myself) knew who'd sent the letter: old Mrs. Grant*, who told me in my office two months after I'd started there as pastor (and just a couple of weeks before the first letter) that she didn't like my preaching, didn't like my car or where I lived, and that I would be much better off teaching somewhere instead of being their preacher because the church never wanted me anyway.

I smiled and told her she didn't have to like me, but God had called me to that church, and the vast majority of the church had apparently felt the same when they asked me to come. Grant couldn't believe I had answered her that way, because she stared at me open-mouthed and was angry as she left.

But it wasn't just Mrs. Grant. She had a cohort (or mastermind?) in a staff member, who would whisper comments and questions in church and the community. He would find out someone was in the hospital or in jail, and go visit them, never informing me, as pastor. Then he would ask, "Has Bro Brett not come to see you yet?" Then shake his head. Several individuals found this strange behavior, and passed it on to me a few times over my years there.

Some suspected he was the author of the letters himself, and the typist.

How very difficult it is to serve effectively when two people who are prominent both in the church and the community want so badly to see you gone. It just about destroyed me, my ministry, and my family. 

Years later, I am divorced and remarried, and haven't served in full-time minstry as a vocation since. I've preached, led music, and worked with youth and children. I've been as active as I can be.

I don't know if I'll ever serve again as a pastor (full-time, part-time, or bi-vocational), because I don't know just what God has in store. But I do know that my calling and my obedience depend on no one but God and me. Anonymous letters from misguided humans can never be allowed to usurp the personal letter from God to us.

*Not their real names. Maybe.