You're Doing It Wrong
In a world of things that irritate me - from the mildly irritating (mosquitoes) to the horribly offensive (racism) - I find myself taking offense quite often to any article that says, "You're doing it wrong".
Or worse - "YOUR doing it wrong". Please.
Articles like:
You're doing it wrong: How to eat a cupcake
You're doing it wrong: BLTs
Your pictures don't look right hanging on the wall because you're doing it wrong.
Et cetera, and so on.
How do you know I'm not doing it correctly? For your information, I may be doing it all correctly. All of it. All. Or not.
But it's not up to the authors of these pathetic attempts at article writing to say so.
If I am an expert at re-roofing houses, and you are not, and your attempt to re-roof your house turns out less than stellar, you might ask me what you did wrong. At that point, I could honestly and accurately say that it didn't work for you because you did it wrong.
But this you already know, because you asked me, What did I do wrong? Not - did I do anything wrong, but what, exactly, wrong did I commit/accomplish?
Unless you are the world's foremost expert in peeling an orange, and you have just witnessed me go all Gaul commando on an orange, practically destroying it by trying to peel it in a particularly aggressive and inept manner, you have no right (none, I say) to write an article that I might come across in my daily Internet news gathering entitled: You're Doing It Wrong: Peeling an Orange.
Bite my orange.
I'd rather no one else tell me what fruit-related sins they erroneously think I'm committing. Just let me criticize others in my head for turning left at an intersection where "No Left Turn" is clearly marked in three separate locations. Three, people. Very easy to see. What's the problem here? Come on.
Ridiculous and hypocritical, I know. I just don't take kindly to this type of random, generalized criticism.
How about:
Kite Building: You Might Not Be Getting It Right
If I'm not, I'd probably be just as likely to read your article if it were entitled, "Kite Building: Making Amazing Kites". More likely, actually. I don't feel like the article is predisposed to pointing out flaws.
Anyway, pointless rant over.
I'm gonna go try to sleep again. I've been doing it wrong.
Or worse - "YOUR doing it wrong". Please.
Articles like:
You're doing it wrong: How to eat a cupcake
You're doing it wrong: BLTs
Your pictures don't look right hanging on the wall because you're doing it wrong.
Et cetera, and so on.
How do you know I'm not doing it correctly? For your information, I may be doing it all correctly. All of it. All. Or not.
But it's not up to the authors of these pathetic attempts at article writing to say so.
If I am an expert at re-roofing houses, and you are not, and your attempt to re-roof your house turns out less than stellar, you might ask me what you did wrong. At that point, I could honestly and accurately say that it didn't work for you because you did it wrong.
But this you already know, because you asked me, What did I do wrong? Not - did I do anything wrong, but what, exactly, wrong did I commit/accomplish?
Unless you are the world's foremost expert in peeling an orange, and you have just witnessed me go all Gaul commando on an orange, practically destroying it by trying to peel it in a particularly aggressive and inept manner, you have no right (none, I say) to write an article that I might come across in my daily Internet news gathering entitled: You're Doing It Wrong: Peeling an Orange.
Bite my orange.
I'd rather no one else tell me what fruit-related sins they erroneously think I'm committing. Just let me criticize others in my head for turning left at an intersection where "No Left Turn" is clearly marked in three separate locations. Three, people. Very easy to see. What's the problem here? Come on.
Ridiculous and hypocritical, I know. I just don't take kindly to this type of random, generalized criticism.
How about:
Kite Building: You Might Not Be Getting It Right
If I'm not, I'd probably be just as likely to read your article if it were entitled, "Kite Building: Making Amazing Kites". More likely, actually. I don't feel like the article is predisposed to pointing out flaws.
Anyway, pointless rant over.
I'm gonna go try to sleep again. I've been doing it wrong.
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